I've been meaning to write this entry for AGES, and i'm taking lots of inspiration from a post that Melburnian created a long time ago.
I'm mad for a good pash; nothing gets me in your pocket (or bed) faster than a really good passionate make out session. Just take some of the pointers down while you're here and if we ever meet, you'll be sure to win big. Don't bite my lip in an attempt to be passionate; actually that's incorrect, I fucking love that just don't bite too hard as it fucking hurts and I will knee you in the balls. Avoid trying to suck my tongue into your mouth and rip it from my body.
I LOVE being an idiot sometimes; there is nothing more freeing than letting go of your inhibitions and being that person we all love to hate. Be it too loud, too drunk, or dancing with uncontrollable arms & legs while you recreate the Elaine dancing scenes from Seinfeld at the one & only gay bar in your city; simultaneously cutting any chance you had of getting that cute guys number. The point is, I like to have fun and be an idiot, you should too and so should you friends. I want tears of laughter streaming down faces.
Conversation should just flow. Nothing is more painful than a date being more like a job interview. If I have to ask every single question I'm going to get very annoyed very quickly. I've been on some horrible dates, truly painful experiences.
At least offer to pay, you cheap assholes.
I've been on a few dates with guys who don't even offer to share the cost, or on one occasion they didn't even join the party in buying a round. I'm not loaded. I don't expect anything in return; Just don't expect it all the time.
Because i'm socially retarded to a certain point and fail badly at meeting new homosexual people in a social setting; the majority (see: all) of my homosexual #DisasterLoveTour prospects begin from the internet (Grindr, Manhunt, Scruff). If you send me the same message multiple times before I've had a chance to reply, or constantly ask to meet; than im sorry your are out of the game. I'm not fucking logged in to those all the time like some people; I actually pretend to have a life. The amount of people I've blocked on those things for sending me four or more message in a 30 min window is beyond my comprehension.
Be All and End All.
Look; chances are we might not hit it off and that's most likely because I'm a bit picky. If you can't see past sex or spending the rest of the our lives together then we're probably not going to go any further than the initial dates. I can be friends with people who I've made out with, just be weird about it.
I've dated a couple of people in the past few years and nothing slightly irritated me more than their unwillingness to social with my friendship circle. It's not a huge thing, but its nice to be able to socialize together in a situation that isn't just one-sided. I make the effort to get to know your friends and it would be nice if you did the same. I've had two many awkward "oh, where's [insert name here] moments to last me a lifetime.
Ch Ch Ch Changes.
Don't try and make me something i'm not. I like to dress daggy most of the time. I'll wear the same Bonds Raglan or V-Neck Crew t-shirts everywhere I can & I like to add my dodgy stencils to them; so just deal with it. I'm probably never going to be that pretty guy. I'm practically a cast member of the inbetweeners.
I'm not one thats huge on photos, so it would be nice if you were. I don't have many photos of past relationships so it would be nice to start a collection. Drag me out of my comfort zone and you'll be rewarded with drunk and outrageously loud Pete.
Day 29 - SHOUT SOMETHING! IT CAN BE HAPPY AND ABOUT PRIDE OR ABOUT WHY YOU HATE HOMOPHOBIA.
Day 28 - Write a letter to someone. It can be a coming out letter or a letter regarding how you hate their homophobia or whatnot. You don't have to send it.
I've covered this post in the past at some stage with a plinky post, so I'm pretty much just going to post a link to that.
Oh, Hai! Here it is: A Letter To Someone From High School.
Day 25 - The LGBTQ slur you hate most or if you've taken back a slur used it as a definition, ie queer or fag.
Wears a Green Carnation, Friends of Dorothy, Mary, Old Violet, fairy fairy-god-father, SnowQueen, Baloney Smoker, Fudge Packer, Bone Smuggler, Rump Wrangler, Colon Cowboy, Flamer, Bum Chum, Poo-Jabber, Soft-Lad, Wrong way up the turnpike, a Real Soprano, Putting from the ruff, uphill gardener, backside artist, bowler, Pillow Biter, Queer Bait, Nelly, Bender, Limp-Wrist, left handed hitter, Light in the loafers, Streak Of Lavender, shirt lifter, Alice, Arse King, Blue Boy, Camp As A Row Of Tents, Finley Quaye, Gentleman Of The Backdoor, Toe Toucher, Knob Jockey, Mattress Muncher, Meat Hound, Midnight Cowboy, Mincer, Nancy Boy, Rear Admiral, Receiver Of Swollen Goods, Riding the top deck of the bus, rubber queen, salad tosser, trouser man, Willie Woofter, Wind Jammer. Straight As A Circle, Gay as a row of tents, bent as a butchers hook, bath-house Brady, Latrine Queen, The Florist, Jolly Rancher, Wonka Bar, Rainbow In the Dark (Closet), Ankle Grabber, That Way, A Bit Funny, On the bus, batting for the other team, batty boy, bone smuggler, bufter. Charlie, Chutney Ferret, Fruit, Gaysian, Ring Raider, Ginger Beer, Tootsie Trader.
Day 24 - The stupidest argument/comment you've heard about gay people or an LGBTQ issue.
For a funny read; please read this link on Queerty.
For a slightly more serious one, read this link.
Day 20 - Maureen or Joanne? (Or your favorite LGBTQ show or queer-positive show).
The only Maureen I know is my aunt, and the only Joanne I know is the one sang Jackie.
I don't really watch that much television so the only homo tv characters that I actually know about would be a bunch of the dudes from Queer As Folk, the queers from Will & Grace; thats seriously all that I can remember. OH! And maybe that hot closeted homophobe from Shameless.
Oh and I forgot Mr Humphrey from Are You Being Served. Who the fuck wouldn't love that guy!
Day 18 - Something about the LGBTQ community you don’t understand or have a question about.
I could probably rant on this for hours as it really frustrates the heck out of me. I don't understand the segregation between the types, it's very much annoying.
Also, below is how I originally wrote this entry.
Edit below in to something that doesn't do shit.
HOW, DESPITE ALL THE HATE & MALICE THAT HAS BEEN ACTIONED TOWARD US, YOU STILL FEEL THE NEED TO ALIENATE THOSE WHO NEED SOCIAL INCLUSION WITHIN A MICROCOSM SOCIETAL SYSTEM THE MOST.
Day 17 - Your first experience with an LGBT organization or event (Day of Silence, Pride, etc).
Well to be deadly honest; I don't have any experience with these kind of organizations, and I don't really have a simple answer as to why that is. I guess that one reason could be that I simply haven't required the services of something like that.
In regards to events, I think that I may have attended one pride march here in Adelaide, and it was the most disappointing thing I'd witnessed in quite sometime; and that experience has made me shun every pride & equal love march since. I have attended the Feast Hub during its time, and not even that made me feel comfortable surrounded by "like minded people"; I think Talking Poofy have said it the best "it's a lesbian festival, with gays added for credibility" (or words to that effect). I also think that I'm do put off by being involved in these days because the community is so small that it alienates people who don't fit the Adelaide homo stereotype.
Maybe this year I'll make more of an effort at Feast Festival.
Day 11 - Your favourite LGBTQ book (or one you'd like to read).
I liken LGBTQ literature to Mills & Boon novels; they all seem to follow a similar pattern. I say this but I've read neither of these style of books. I have listened to Gay Audio Book Podcast and they are TRULY horrific. I can not stand tedious love stories, tedious coming out stories and the good old "coming of age" bullshit. But, I guess that's not just LGBTQ literature either, I much prefer biographies and things like that.
I guess the image I've chosen above isn't great, but deal with it.